I want balance, but won’t be satisfied with 9 to 5

“I need something more balanced, but I’m not going to be satisfied with a 9 am to 5 pm. I want to keep growing, to be challenged.” 

I hear this all the time from my clients. 

In fact, it’s probably one of their top-five goals.

For so many of my clients who have been working around the clock for years - in consulting, venture, high-growth start-ups - they want a career that works with their life, not consumes it. 

They (and perhaps you!) need to find a career that gives you time and space outside of work to be a 3-D human, who does more than just work and sleep. You want time, space and energy to:

• Show up for your loved ones…to send a birthday card to your best friend, instead of half responding to her text a week later or bake chili for their neighbors who just had a baby 

• Take care of themselves…to make it to pilates class a few times a week, actually mastering the x pose, instead of squeezing in a 15-minute Peloton ride or eating a real lunch (with vegetables!) instead of subsisting on coffee and snacks throughout the day 

• Pursue interests and hobbies…to take the art class you’ve been quietly daydreaming of for years or to finally start reading for pleasure again

But here’s the catch: you’re not looking for a 9am-to-5pm.  

For as much as Dolly Parton exalted the benefits of a “9 to 5!,” true or not, we, ambitious millennial women, write off companies that only expect you to work 9 to 5 as slow, uninteresting and unchallenging. 

(And if that song is stuck in your head for the rest of the day, you’re welcome!) 

Because even as you crave more time and space (note, I’m not saying “balance”), you don’t want to become stagnant or to stop learning and growing. 

Here’s what I’ve learned in my own career and having coached dozens and dozens of clients trying to find their - let’s call it - “9 to 6 with growth” is that: 

These roles aren’t just magically handed to you. 

You have to find them and then shape them to work for you. 

I’m going to show you how to accomplish this today and in next week’s newsletter. 

And, of course, through a mix of mindset and strategy (if you’re new here, I’m smiling as all of my work is driven through mindset strengthening and tangible strategies you need to create the career you want). 

Most companies are going to have ample opportunity for learning and growth – you definitely need to test that it’s the learning culture and boss you want - but I find that the toughest piece for my clients to find (and fully vet) are reasonable workload expectations. 

It’s worth another newsletter on how to vet the talent cultivation culture of a company, but for this series, we’re going to focus on the workload piece. 

We’re starting with strategies or how you find a company and role with the potential to be a “9 to 6 with growth”.

1. Know where not to look 

Start with a negative screen or knowing where not to look for companies who fit your workload and growth criteria. 

Let’s start with industry. You know this, but I’ll say it anyway just to be thorough – there are certain industries that are inhospitable to the work-lifestyle mix you want. They pay you above market and, in exchange, expect (demand) that you put work first. 

So skip or be wary of the bulge-bracket banks, venture, private equity, consulting and big law. There is a way to make some of these work once you’re more senior and get to set your timelines and priorities (more on this next week), but my guess is if you’re reading this email, these are the industries you’re trying to leave. 

Venture-backed early-stage start-ups are also tough. These companies have been given large amounts of money to grow as quickly as possible, which often means pitching a partner or implementing a new tool at 9:45pm vs. making it to a 6:30pm pottery class. 

There are always exceptions to the rule, but if you’re working in one of these spaces, go in eyes wide-open and pay close attention to next week’s newsletter (the mindsets you need to shape a role so it works for you). 

2. “A company tells you who they are, believe them.” 

Once you do your negative screen for industry, you’re looking for your “9 to 6 with growth” on a company-by-company basis. With this, I always go back to a spin on Maya Angelou’s quote, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” 

The same rings true for companies. 

Some companies will tell you who they are in your very first touch-point with them - the job description. With others, it will emerge later in the interview process. 

With the job description, pay attention to how they describe their culture and what they’re looking for in a hire. If the JD is looking for someone who “moves with urgency and like every day starts at zero” or “thrives in a high-paced, dynamic and ever-changing environment,” skip the application. 

If the culture and pace isn’t obvious from the JD, pay attention to context clues in the interview process. Do your interviewers show up out of breath and distracted or are they prepared, fully present and grounded? Did an interviewer make a back-handed comment about the ever-changing priorities of the leadership or his inability to take a full vacation, or is she just getting back from a fully disconnected week at the beach? 

These context clues will help give you a gut instinct about the pace, work expectations and culture. The next step is to vet it.  

3. Do your due diligence. 

This is where the rubber meets the road and you need to fully test your instinct before accepting an offer. I strategize around this with my clients all the time as they’re hesitant to ask too direct questions about work-life balance not wanting to come off as not committed or not willing to work hard.

This is a fair concern, which is why you need to be strategic and save your questions until the late stages of the interview process and once you have a formal offer. 

Remember that once you have a formal offer, companies really want you to say yes. The hiring manager knows you’re going to be a great fit for the gap on their team and the recruiter wants to hit their offer-accept metrics. 

This is your time to ask direct questions and confirm the expectations of the role. Talk to both your new boss and peers, to ensure you’re getting a well-rounded and candid perspective. 

Here are specific questions you can use that strike the balance between getting the intel you need, while not coming across as lazy: 

• What is an average week like in this role? 

• How often do you see colleagues working late or responding to emails outside of work hours?

• How often do you find yourself doing weekend work? What are the expectations around weekend work? 

• How comfortable do people feel about disconnecting from work during their time off?

• How does the company support staff during busy work stretches? 

• Being able to [take my Spanish class on Monday nights or go for a run at 5pm 3x / week] is really important to me, how would that be supported? 

Use your discretion - you don’t want to ask every question in every discussion, but you can and should do thorough due diligence. Listen closely to the responses and any variation between conversations - remember a company will tell you who they are. 

If you follow these steps, hopefully you’ll find yourself in a role that has a lot of potential to be a “9 to 6 with growth.” 

And then it’s about showing up every single day and continuing to shape that to make sure you’re really able to work 9 to 6(ish) with growth and learning, which we’ll dive into next week.