New year, new borough (part 1)
So new year, new borough…
The punchline is that I moved.
(And disclaimer, this is going to be a long two-part newsletter 😅).
In the spirit of change over the past 12 months, I spent the last few days of 2023 moving from Jersey City, NJ, my home of the last four years, to Brooklyn, NY.
While moving within the same metro area might not seem like a big deal, this move felt weightier than the countless hops I made in my 20s.
I own my apartment and have an amazing community of neighbors in Jersey City. Plus, given that it is NYC, I had to cross state lines and two rivers to move.
For anyone not familiar with the NYC area, Jersey City is an urban neighborhood across the Hudson River from Manhattan, commonly referred to as the “sixth borough.” Brooklyn, I’m sure you all know from Girls or Miranda’s move in SATC.
I’m going to share the nitty-gritty of my decision-making process with you, what I learned from it and how it applies to your career. My clients and so many of us (myself included!) are always trying to make more intuitive and authentic decisions, so I hope this is useful as you consider your decisions in 2024.
First a little back-story. I have considered moving to Brooklyn FOUR times since 2017.
In 2017, my partner and I were scoping out cities and neighborhoods to co-habitat in. Brooklyn? Too congested, so I moved from Manhattan to his home in Chicago.
In 2019, moving east to be closer to our families, we again considered Brooklyn before deciding on Jersey City because of the lower tax-rate and to be close to an airport for his consulting career (this remains the most practical and least-sexy decision I’ve ever made).
In 2021, post-break-up and ready to buy my first apartment, I considered Brooklyn AGAIN, but decided to double-down on my community and extra square-footage in Jersey City.
So why did I finally decide to move to Brooklyn - the more crowded, expensive and smaller (apartment-wise) option - in 2023?
To be closer to my friends and for easier dating.
Here is my decision-making journey:
I got a ping. I’m one of those people who subscribes to Ezra Klein’s podcast because it makes me feel intellectual, but don’t often listen because well, the topics are too intellectual. However, one episode caught my attention this spring.
Ezra and his guest discussed research that living closer to our friends makes us happier. That led me down a rabbit hole, reading this Atlantic article and this Substack commentary, and then rapid-fire emailing my friend who lives in Brooklyn along the lines of “read this! we could be happier.”
The podcast episode and internet rabbit-hole really started to turn my wheels. Yes, I lived in the same city as my friends, but not close to them (a quorum live in Brooklyn). It took me 55 minutes and a transfer to get from my apartment to theirs.
Those thoughts got louder and louder as I spent two weekends this summer at my friend’s house in Brooklyn. I went to swim lessons with her kids. I walked to meet friends for dinner.
It all felt wonderfully easy…
My priorities felt blocked if I stayed. A big priority in my life at the moment is dating. I broke up with my long-term partner at the start of the pandemic. While I’ve wanted to find a new partner for a long-time, I’ve realized that I need to make it as much of a priority as my career, friends or even say, working out.
But as I considered dating more this fall, I felt…blocked, stuck, unmotivated.
As I looked around Jersey City, all I saw were young families or older residents. It is a neighborhood where you come to raise a family. Not exactly full of dating prospects.
The next best option for dating was in Manhattan. I love cities, but am no longer a big, big city person. The thought of dating someone in Manhattan and therefore spending more time in the hustle of Manhattan didn’t do it for me.
So that left Brooklyn. Hopefully full of more dating prospects, but still the aforementioned 55 minutes away. I couldn’t imagine starting to date someone and having to transfer trains to get back and forth between our apartments.
I didn’t want to let geography be a logistical barrier to dating more easily.
[INTERMISSION]
Alright, we're abruptly pausing this post as it is getting very long. Stay tuned for part two. I'll share the other two parts of my decision-making process and how it can apply to your career.
