New year, new borough (part 2)
I'm back with what is probably my most-anticipated post since I started writing you all in May. Thanks for the many notes of congratulations, encouragement and appreciation for my candor over the past few weeks.
If you missed it, take a few minutes to read my last newsletter recounting part of my decision to move from my home of the last four years to a new neighborhood (which, because it is NYC, happens to be in a new state) in late-2023.
For anyone else needing the spark notes recap, I decided to move to Brooklyn – which I had previously written off as too congested, expensive and small (apartment-wise) – following the pings I had gotten and recognizing that my current home wasn't aligned with my priorities.
Here are the other pieces that guided me along the way.
I saw external signs. While this sentence is totally woo-woo, there is something to it. While our intuition lives primarily in our bodies, the universe sometimes sends us signs to nudge us along or to ensure we fully listen to our intuition.
As the whisper about a move at the back of my head got louder, I started Zillow-browsing (all of our favorite pastime, no?) and decided to see a few apartments in Brooklyn. As I walked to my first showing, I passed a bakery named “Poppy’s.” I called my dad “Poppy” growing up and it is what my niece will call him, so it is a special word in my family. Passing that shop, I felt a sense of comfort.
A few weeks later, I was driving out of the city - debating whether to move and feeling all sorts of turmoil - when a delivery van pulled in front of me. The brand printed on the back of the truck? Poppy’s in Brooklyn.
Around the same time, I connected with a potential date in Jersey City. I was talking to a friend about how promising it was (“a cute, tall guy who does yoga in JC?!”), but a few texts later, it was clear there was no potential. It felt like the door to dating in Jersey City firmly closed, and I got one more nudge towards Brooklyn.
The next piece of my puzzle was fear-setting, a new-to-me concept developed by Tim Ferriss. I imagined the worst-case scenario if moving to Brooklyn was an out-and-out failure and how I would rebound.
There were two clear worst-case scenarios for me – not liking Brooklyn and not being able to rent my Jersey City apartment. I realized that neither of those were catastrophic – I could always move back to Jersey City and figure out how to cover my mortgage with savings or other income.
In fact, part of the worst-case scenario has played out – I haven't rented my apartment yet. I was disappointed to have had to pay 2x housing costs in January, but since every other aspect of this move has felt right, I'm trusting that it will rent and if not, I will figure it out.
The last piece was giving myself permission. Some portion of the thoughts running through my head this fall were judging myself, sounding like:…"do you need / can you handle more change?"…."are you really going to blow up this part of your life too?"
I like personality tests and spiritual frameworks, but am not an Enneagram junkie or avid astrologist. That said, I find each personality test has something to offer if taken with a grain of salt.
I started to explore Human Design this fall, and learned that my personality type is meant to “experiment and redesign their lives until they get it right” and “make choices that may not always make sense to others.” Reading that gave me full permission to accept the change I wanted to make and to go for it.
So there you go – I am now a proud resident of Brooklyn, testing out coffee shops and exploring new walking routes with Rosemary.
And importantly, making decisions from my intuition and trust rather than the logic or practicality that governed my late 20s and early 30s.
I promised that I would relate this back to your career. Firstly, I hope this gives you an example and for those who might need it, permission to make big decisions guided by your intuition.
If you're trying to figure out your next career (or life) step, grab a notebook and allow these questions to guide you to your answer:
Observe what feels good or fine, but not great (say a 6-7 on a scale of 1-10)? What does great (a 9 or 10) look like?
What is that persistent whisper you hear at the back of your mind that just won't go away? What would it look like to to follow it?
What are your priorities? Is your current career aligned with your priorities? If not, what does a career aligned with your priorities look like?
What external nudges are you getting? Which doors are being closed and which are being opened?
Once you have a sense of where you want to head, answer these questions to allow yourself to start moving:
What is the worst that could happen? How can you mitigate the worst outcomes?
What logistics (i.e., timing, finances) do you need to solve for?
What permission do you need to give yourself?
Thanks for following along, and I hope you got some inspiration and new questions to explore. Let me know how it goes!
